Learning From My Mistakes

Last month’s article was about making a fresh start by letting go of mistake purchases, items that hang unworn in closets and sit unused in our kitchens. As I looked in my own closet where my mistake purchases usually live, I decided to look for a pattern.

When I thought about how I was feeling at the time, I found three trigger factors that influenced the purchase of something I later didn’t use, used only once, or didn’t really like after I had taken the tags off:

1. I allowed others to influence my purchase (“You should buy this; it’s perfect for you.”). Whether the comment came from a friend, relative, or colleague, I let their insistence overrule what I would have done. I didn’t listen to my own voice.
2. I tried something really different that didn’t reflect who I am. Either out of boredom or frustration with a current situation, I bought something (usually clothing) that I hoped would make me look cooler, more professional, etc. I was looking for something external to fix something internal.
3. I got caught up in the moment. Whether it was a really good sale or a non-returnable item at a craft show or on vacation, I let excitement overrule my normally good judgment.

Don’t get me wrong. There is a time to take risks and try new things, but there is a huge difference between a great find and a mistake purchase. A great find conforms to my keep-this-item criteria:

• I currently need the item and have a specific use for it.
• It goes with what I already have. I won’t need to shop for other items to match it, or matching items can be easily found.
• It is within my budget.
• It reflects who I am today.
• It’s a “Wow!” rather than a “just okay.”

Let me give an example. I love my casual black jacket with its red (my favorite color) lining and quirky pom-pom ties (those were a stretch for my style). While others encouraged me to buy it at a home clothing party, I did need a new jacket and it matched much of my wardrobe. It was and still is a great find, a wow.

Contrast that with my recent purchase of some trendy jeans. It was the last hour of a huge one-day sale, and I had been feeling frumpy and cooped up with my 2 ½ year old. The jeans were cute, a great price, and something I needed. But after wearing them once, I could see that they weren’t my style. My great deal was a mistake purchase soon to be headed for Goodwill.

So, what’s a girl to do? I will try not to use shopping as retail therapy. When I come home with something really different, I will wait a week before I wear it (or as least until the frumpy period—pun intended—passes). I am also giving myself permission not to buy anything at home parties, on vacation, or at specialty stores unless it conforms to my keep-this-item criteria.

What about you? Have you made a mistake purchase lately? If the tags are still attached, it is not too late to return it.

If not, think about how you were feeling when you bought the item. What are your trigger factors? Remember them the next time you go shopping. Develop your own keep-this-item criteria and carry it in your purse or wallet; read it when you aren’t sure of something. Ask a friend to help you evaluate your purchases.

We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. I am still learning from mine.

© Renee Ursem, 2009.

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